shall i never cease to be okay?

where are you, oh infinite fountain of youth? where are you, o you who promised great things, who,
stood at the door of childhood, and beckoned us onward?

i remember seaweed on the dunes, wind blowing in my hair and the feeling that would last forever
i remember those late-night card games, tiny camper shaking with the raucous sounds, laughter filling every corner

i remember that bridge that i stood over, wanting that moment to never pass, semi trailers whizzing by and the world at my fingertips, knowing i was everything i wanted, at that very moment

wishing away the moments as they came, never knowing how precious they would be until they have gone

so i turn up the tunes to full blast, thinking this over as i lay on the floor and nurse away this feeling of missed opportunities,
clinging desperately to the last moments of what i once called childhood,
how do i separate the youthful from the youth, i want to take all that i left behind
and make it mine again. why do you push me onward? i am a child, at the feet of the world, even now
i will never cease to dream,
and i will always be living at the place in my mind that i am at right now, somewhere far away but getting closer


and i will never give it away
and i will never let it die
there are more days coming because
there must be
i will not allow
myself
to die