snowflakes are borne from delight

i wonder if this is what they all meant when they said,
'the end is nigh', when they
held their signs aloft and screamed for all sinners to repent.

when the tiny yellow subway across the street held out their hands for five dollar bills, offering happiness to all, and many came.
many ate there, they lined up for hours, it seemed, giving up their lunch breaks and their tee vee time so unflinchingly, it seemed,
all so eager and hungry for their own twelve inches of happiness. meanwhile, the
man across the street yelled on, telling others about hell and sin and gay bastards who ought to wish they had never been born

well, he never said that exactly, but you could tell he wanted to, his well-rehearsed monologue echoing through the winter air, talking to no one now but himself, but i wonder if he notices it

the leaves falling, fallen, and fell, winter in the air now but no one is talking about it, no,
not now, as they hurry about wondering where all the time went
no, wondering where all the time will go, fitting it away in their minds as they dance on, their suffering apparent to everyone who pays attention, which, around here,
isn't many

looking for a job, looking for a higher power, looking for peace,
wandering about with tongue open, head up, waiting for the first sign
of snow, but
it's not coming, not
now, not now,
not now

and nothing is found, nothing is found here or there or around here at all, and the sky holds in the sun,
obstinately,
so obstinately now, and
being good looks so much like failure these days, but
it's the only thing i have, so
here i am

failure is in my blood, it was in my father's blood and his fathers too
and so we're fucked, we're all so very fucked now but
all we can do is cling to hope, stupidly now, like how
a child clings to his mothers' hand in the grocery
but it's the only thing we've got now,
it's the only thing we've got
so i guess i'll hold on for a little longer
just a little longer now and it'll all be worth it, just
a little longer and i'll have made something for myself, or,
He will have. i still have that. He's still there. so,
come down soon, will you?
thanks, i'll be waiting, i
guess there's not much else