love this

finding that i have to just say forget it,
i'm picking something and going with it

deciding that i must always chase my dreams,
but i must never chase dreaming

learning to not take it all so darn seriously

realizing how absolutely precious security is

seeing that family are the ones,
the ones who are always there for me,
always always always

crossing that line and never turning back.
that line dividing me today from me yesterday.
crossing it every single day.

forcing love, forcing myself to love, of course i will,
because love is a choice
and it's the most beautiful thing i've ever been gifted with.

watching her unfold before me like an origami flower, edges yellowed with the harshness of the sun, but as i coax her open, more of her beautiful white shows and i see all along how precious her insides are, and i'll never stop unfolding it

knowing that reaching for family is always worth it,
always always worth it.

building family with strangers.

struggling to cease the struggle, to go into autopilot,
my enthusiasm of wanting it all slowly fading,
just being happy with what i get,

getting what i always wanted,
a family who supports me,
a woman who loves me,
and a chance to hack away at the darkness for my own piece of home

another chance, because that's all i'll need,
and that's what i'm getting.

i love you all. every one of you.

especially you.