i loathe being poetic.

i loathe being poetic.
having a beautiful life.
being an inspiration.
gaining followers.
feeling as if i am accomplishing something great
or encouraging others to do the same

i think i am becoming more introverted.
i think i am becoming more cynical.
or maybe i am just tired.

i think i am becoming more unbelieving,
i think i am losing my direction
or maybe i am just losing my choking grip on my own ideas and ideals.

i think i am giving up
i think i am selling out
but maybe i am just realizing that doing the average, really ain't that bad
and life isn't meant to be run from, it's meant to be lived.

i think i am ceasing to dream, ceasing to strive for the greater
but maybe it's because i no longer need to dream, because i'm awake and i'm moving toward my goals

anyway, i no longer feel like i need to force everything, to make everything work out
i no longer need to make major changes in my life, i'm exactly where i need to be, where i want to be.

it's great, i love it, really i do.
i just don't want to be an inspiration for others.
you want something out of your life, just fuckin' do it.

i love you all, i love where i am, i love my life
and i especially love YOU.
thanks again