i remember feeling as if i could not rule the world

i remember feeling as if i could not rule the world, i remember
falling to the ground with trembling lips, hands
telling myself i would never do that again, never be
that again.

would confront me, call me by name,
tell me its own.

but i will continue to run.
or, remain stationary-- i know not.
and for now, i will remain firmly fixed in
the regular, embracing not the cold call of fortune,
beckoning from the winds,
wishing me onward into the darkness. for me,
i will always only be me,
only me, and right now i just can't separate
the good from the bad. so i must turn my back on all.
missed opportunity, i'm sorry.
i will return, but for now, i am sorry.