he wanted so desperately it all

the sinister voice that i destroyed yesterday
will come back again today.

and yes i'll still be annoyed with that guy at work
and yes i'll still fall into that same rut for weeks on end
and i'll be dry and i'll be old and i'll be stale
and sometimes i'll not be in the mood
and despite all my best efforts
sometimes i'll even be impotent

And i'm not the adventurer I was when I was washing out my tent in that nowhere laundromat.
And Oh! I wish I could go back there, only I'd do it as me now, and you know I would totally own it!
But i am here, i am now! and i don't know how to do this! i
haven't practiced yet, haven't
learned how to do this yet! haven't
figured it all out, learned how to
iron out all the imperfections
yes, i want that too, i want it to be perfect, i want it all
to be perfect, most of all i want to be perfect,, i want so desperately to know everything, to be the owner of perfection! i would keep it under lock and key, and never let it out
just like now