alphabetize this

i told my dad today, that the amorality of my generation is a reaction to the immorality of his.
i wonder how he took that?
i think sometimes that i really am willing to try anything, swallowing up gullibilities as fast as i can shovel them in.

if it feels good, do it, seems to be the catchall of the day.
as opposed to the other one, which is,
don't. and
i think i'd much rather enjoy life and risk wrong-ness, than be eternally right and incessantly miserable.
and, is there a middle ground?

i think that there is.
i think that i can learn from my mistakes, and the mistakes of others, while still reminding myself that i am not alone and that all the people around me are fucking it up in the exact same way, sometimes at the same time even. so,
don't take it all so damn serious, i tell myself all the time.

but still, i think on.
have i learned enough to take 'the next step'?
what does it mean, to be holy?
can being right still be fun?
i thought god's way was the best, that's how it's seemed to work out so far, but
what about tomorrow?

hush, he says, just keep walking. it'll all make sense in the end.

faith,
i decide.
faith is the answer that i've been looking for.
faith is the key, the hidden key to unlock the door to the chamber of secrets.
we shall overcome, we shall at last when that last bell sounds and the earthquake shakes the ground and those of us who believe will spring to life at last, wondering where the hell all those important things disappeared to so quickly.
and then we will feel so silly.
we will feel so very silly, when we see with clear eyes in that day
we will feel so so silly, so i think i'll start now.